OK, I'm back but I don't know for how long.

This one is for my wife. She seemed a little disappointed that my earlier post wasn't about a day with her.

Imagine a day late in November. At that time of the year here in Minnesota there can be two feet of snow and temperatures below zero. But this particular day was beautiful, warm temperatures and no snow in sight. And that was a good thing, because this was the day I was to be married.

My wife and I had met about a year before, though a dating service, and for both of us it was just about love at first sight. I expressed my feelings as "like I'm a teenager again," except I'd never had feelings like that when I was a teenager. Totally awestruck, impossible to believe, and best fortune of all, she was just as ga-ga over me as I was over her.

The following February, February 14 to be exact, I taped a small flap inside her Valentine. Under that flap were the words, "Will you marry me." You see, I was too shy to actually say the words, but she thinks it's just incredibly cute that I did it that way. She thinks most everything I do is cute. That's one of the reasons I love her.

It was in Marc's Big Boy restaurant that we exchanged Valentines, she opened hers, lifted the flap and stopped. I whipped out the ring from my coat pocket and with trembling hands opened it as she turned to look at me and say, "yes, of course." Then we went to her folks' house so she could show her mother her ring.

We vowed to wait until we had known each other a year to be married. I was approaching my mid-40's, she was in her early 40's. It was both our third marriage, so we must be forgiven for being slightly gunshy, no matter what our feelings. During that next 9 months we tested each other in every way we could.

You see, it is not unloving to set tests for your intended in order to find out who they really are. Everyone is on their best behavior when they're dating, especially in the first few months. To maintain it for a year, however, is impossible. And better you discover those things wrong with your love (and there are always such things) before the marriage.

I don't know how many times I've asked myself when a couple broke up, "Didn't he/she know that she/he was that way going into the marriage?" So it's best to push the envelope a little bit, just so you know.

Rather than trying to appear nice by agreeing with her, I would deliberately speak my mind. I'd wait. How did she take that? Did she get mad? Did she understand that sometimes I'd disagree? Was I, for example, allowed to tell her "no?"

She wanted me to go to church with her. Later she said, "if you hadn't, I wouldn't have married you." She'd schedule to do something without me. What was my reaction? Did I forbid her from doing "her own thing?" And on and on.

Recognizing that all things come out eventually, and preferring to lose my love before the wedding instead of after, I confessed my three big secret sins at that time.

I had declared bankruptcy a few years before, so bad credit for at least 7 more years, my divorce was really only six months old, and the third I forget. Perhaps it was that I had used marijuana when I was younger. The last wasn't anything that she was likely to learn, but I wanted to go in with a clean slate, so to speak.

We both passed all tests, although several times we had to stop and get clarification about motives on some of our reactions. And the day came. Now I'm not the kind who likes formal occasions. And I don't like group events. So you can imagine how I felt about going to a wedding. Especially when I was going to be right in the center of the event.

I told my future bride that I didn't understand why I couldn't just sit in the back. I wouldn't have much to say during the ceremony and I would speak up so everyone could hear me. That idea, however, was nixed.

It was a small ceremony in the Hearth Room at our church (the first church wedding either of us had had, if you don't count a chapel in Las Vegas, which I don't), family, friends and working acquaintances. Probably about a hundred all together. Neither of my boys were there - they were still on their "street" mission. Two of hers were, but her oldest was in Korea.

Her niece's husband at that time, name of Kirk, took video of the event and you can be sure that my wife has played that tape over and over during the years since. She watches it and says I look like a king whereas I just see someone stiff with tension and anxiety at being the center of attention. Can you see why I love her so much, why she's so loveable?

There isn't much I remember about the ceremony, but I do remember that my bride was dressed in pink, like a small china doll, standing proudly beside me. She had white flowers in her hair and I felt so proud to be marrying her.

The minister knew her quite well and had previous had a serious talk with us, knowing that we'd been around this block before, twice. There came a time in the ceremony when he said something like, "These two have come here, before this assembled company, to become man and wife, to do it all ONCE AGAIN." And the emphasis is his, not mine.

Then he had a prayer which lasted only slightly less time than our whole relationship. Well, maybe not that long, but it was a very long prayer, especially for someone who wanted to be sitting in the back.

Now, being the age we were, and circumstances being what they were, we didn't actually take our honeymoon for quite a while. We also had some people out of town staying in our house, so we ended up with guests for our wedding night. By the way, one of the guests was a man who lived with my wife previously who was up from Atlanta with his wife.

What do you call such people? Ah, yes, former boarders. She had allowed him to use a bedroom in her place at one point when he was in the Twin Cities. She was a very trusting person and he was much younger than her so he was like a son.

Well, we had the reception in our home, had everybody back there and it went well. We opened presents in our family room and my wife was radiant in the crowd surrounding her, everybody in rapture to see what each present held. As is Minnesota style, every card must be opened and passed around, each present must be opened and passed around. And all the time I'm squatting beside her chair.

Only bad thing that day was that we had counted on it being colder in Minnesota at that time and had planned to have all the champagne in the snow on the deck. So we ended up having to buy a lot of ice and put it all in the bathtub. Need more booze, got to go to the john.

My wife ended up getting tipsy, she loves champagne, but it really hits her hard. So, by the end of the evening, her and the girl from Atlanta are having more fun than any two people should be allowed to.

Kirk was still filming the festivities, and has it all on tape. Although not many people want to sit through the tape of the long ceremony, most really like the end of the tape, when everyone gets just a bit looped.

And the best part of the tape is a bit just about 3 seconds long, the very last, as Kirk, who hadn't been in hardly any of the rest of the shots, turned the camera from a view of the remaining champagne to the bathroom mirror and said simply, "Hi" before turning the camera off.

That Valentine's day was 17 years ago on Saturday. And, although our love has changed, it hasn't slackened, hasn't decreased. I'm still married to that small china doll that stood beside me that day in late November and I guess she's still married to her king, if that's what she wants me to be.