OK, I'm back but I don't know for how long.

There is a problem in this country, one which I have seen developing over the last 40 years. Before I'm relegated to the "old crank" category, let me say that I'm not saying "Things were better in my day, it's these kids screwing everything up." This is a problem we've all helped create, me included, over all those 40 years.

I have been struggling, trying to identify what to me has been only a feeling for all those years. And from what I hear, I think that a lot of people in this country (including people of all ages, even the teenagers) have had this feeling, so it's not just me.

In my struggles, I've blamed the older people, the younger people, the government, society, liberals, conservatives, even myself. And eventually I've decided (that is, this is MY opinion), that the trouble lies in the attitude of all of these, and in particular, the group attitudes we, as a culture have accepted, adopted, even embraced.

Believe me, to try and tie together all the problems I see around me to a unifying cause is not something I take lightly. And it could be argued for years in so many aspects as to make it obvious that this is a belief that can be split more ways than hair. All I try to do here is express an idea, one that makes sense out of what I see today better than others I've heard or expressed.

Digressing, let me state where this idea comes from. I, like most people, have a family. This family consists of a set of people no different from other people, the only thing making them special is the fact that they are MY family. They have their problems, their foibles, their "sins", their goodnesses, like everyone else. But, right or wrong, they are my family and I will always be there for them, stand behind them or shoulder to shoulder, whatever they need.

I don't think I'm unusual in that. Where I differ from some people, however, is that I feel the same way about my country. I could say that this country has done some things which I don't agree with, that's it's a "bad" country because of that, that I don't want the world to think of me as an American. But I don't. And for good reasons.

First, whatever this country has "done" was done by people, and in many cases these things were not in line with what this country "stands for." Many could say that this is true with the current war. I'll let history decide that, in whatever manner that happens. What I will not do is condemn my country, say it's somehow to blame for all the evils of the world.

I've lived all over this country, literally my "home" has been whereever I lay my head. But every time I've been out of this country, I could not wait to get back. A wave of relief, a sigh of contentment, a sense of home would sweep over me at the first breath of American air. Maybe you're not the same, maybe when you're in a foreign country you prefer it. That's OK, maybe you're not an American at heart, maybe you're a "citizen of the world."

Maybe you think this is a rant on "My country, right or wrong, love it or leave it." It's not, although if I were more comfortable in another country I'd go there, live there, stay there, be a citizen there. I wouldn't gripe about everything that's wrong here. Well, I say that, but then I find that I do gripe about everything that's wrong here or, at least, what I think is wrong. Again, there is this problem, you see.

And all this got triggered from a blog I visited yesterday, one tearing the President down. At first I said, "Well, he and I are at opposite end of the political spectrum, no need to revisit here." But then I realized that I've been at that end of the spectrum at times. Maybe not about the current President, but about some other President. So, how am I different? Because I'm right? Because I THINK I'm right? How are my judgements being formed? By what? Or Who?

Then I visited some teenage blogs and I came away with some of these impressions: "What's the use in life?", "They should be happy I don't commit sucide.", "School sucks.", "My friends Suck.", "I don't have any friends.", "My Mom/Dad/Sister/etc. hate me.", "I could die tomorrow and nobody would care."

Folks, these are our young people, our future, those who we should care the most about. Yet their parents/relatives/friends/etc. are deserting them, using the familiar mantra of "I just don't know what to do. They won't listen anymore." And before you think I'm pointing a finger or throwing a stone, I am very guilty of this with my own children. I watched them self-destructing and finally threw up my hands and watched them walk away, and my only hope was that they wouldn't call me for help.

Do you realize how prevalent depression is among our children, our teenagers, our young people? Do you realize how hard it is, depending on a doctor who may or may not have any ideas? Or to see the children zoned-out on legal drugs, drugs which allow them simply to "exist" in their world of hurt? Or maybe it's illegal ones, ones that soon take them away.

Anyway, where am I going? Why are we seeing generation after generation becoming estranged from their families, each other, etc? If you get the chance to see the movie "Pieces of April," think of this question while you watch. Interesting concepts, interestingly presented.

What I have watched develop over these last 40 years, that thing I've struggled to identify, that which might make sense of the chaos I see developing, is the negative attitude that permeates every aspect of our culture. Teenagers have very negative attitudes (and they do it VERY well), ask any parent. But so do the parents, more subtlely expressed, perhaps, but the same attitude.

What attitude toward his wife causes a man to be abusive? What attitude toward his/her wife/husband causes a man/woman to have an affair? What attitudes cause divorces? Suicides? All the ills of our society?

Don't believe the last? Don't think that all the ills of our society can be laid at one door? Remember that society is a progression and a single event/attitude/concept may eventually bring about major results in what seems totally unrelated areas.

When's the last time you heard a politician say, "My opponent will do a good job, but I'll do a better one. Here's what I stand for, what I will do."? We hear, "My opponent is leading us down the road to destruction. We'll all be out in the streets, our kids roaming naked in packs, if you elect that sack of S**t."

When's the last time you heard a husband say, "My wife is the most wonderful person in the world. As far as I'm concerned the sun rises and sets on her." We hear, "The b***h is playing around again, I know she is. What she needs is a 2x4 upside the head."

When's the last time you heard a teenager say, "My life's OK. Sure, it's not perfect, but I know my folks love me and want the best for me. That will get me through." We hear, "I wish my mom could be home. I wish I knew my dad. I wish there was someone I could go to with my problems."

Where is the country/society/people I used to know? Where is the can-do attitude, the we-can-solve-this-problem-if we-all-work-together attitude, the I-have-a-dream mentality?

It started to dissolve when it became the standard for the media and eventually all people to second-guess, Monday-night quarterback, other people's actions. And always in a negative way. Nobody wants to solve a problem if they know they will be put down for their actions. And it eventually got to be so everyone, no matter what their actions, were put down (even Mother Theresa had her detractors).

Soon it became so the people didn't even want to SUGGEST a solution, even that would be smacked down. And to defend themselves, they began to say there was no solution. And soon, everyone was thinking and saying that. Negativity complete.

Even more insidious, the negativity began to apply to solutions which did work. Because no solution is 100% right/effective/good to all people, even the solutions that worked were subjugated to "add-on" solutions, trying to squeeze a few more degrees of satisfaction to a few more people. And eventually these "add-on's" became problems in themselves.

Soon we were arguing over the details of the solutions rather than the solutions or even the need for a solution. Some problems go away and the solutions keep chugging along, creating havoc and despair in their wake.

And eventually we got political correctness, the most insidious negativity there is. We've gone from a nation who said, "We will not allow words of derision to continue as a part of our culture," to "If there is any words which anyone finds offensive, in any way, or which might in the future be found to be so, we will jail everyone who uses them, just in case." So, in the name of enforced "equality," we've taken away freedoms from all.

And appearance has replaced action, reality (this is a whole subject in itself). It doesn't matter what effect our actions might have on others, it is enough that our motives are pure, or at least appear pure. And this is also negative, because it denies the reality of the world, it forces pain and suffering onto others in the name of our feeling good.

It does not matter if we have forced a nation into a position of single-parent families, into a land of illegitimacy, into a self-perpetuating welfare-state, only that our motives were of the highest when we did it. How could we have known what was going to happen when we tried to help people? How could we see it happening? How could we blame ourselves for it happening? How could we stop it?

This isn't a problem we can solve overnight. But it is one that we all can work to solve. It's not a problem with our goverment, not even with our abstract society, it is one with each one of us.

Each day we need to find good instead of bad, give the benefit of the doubt more often, help rather than complain, encourage and not tear down those who have the responsibility, love our children, be there for them, appreciate life and what you have over what you don't.

It took 40 years for our society to become one of negativity, it will probably take even longer for it to become a positive one. So you have plenty of time to make the change in yourself, and you might be surprised, it just might change those around you, too.

Oh, and, "My wife is the most wonderful person in the world. As far as I'm concerned the sun rises and sets on her." And I mean it, sweetheart, always have, always will.